Visiting Boston: A 3-step Guide to Using Movies to Learn the Accent
I’m in Boston for a work trip and I managed to learn the Boston accent while here. Here’s how I pulled it off.
Step 1: How Bout Dem Apples
Start out with the basics. Try saying things like “I Pahk my Cah at the Baaah” and “Let’s go to Hahvad Yads.” Then get a little more aggressive and say “Hey Jimmy! Get in the cah! We’re gonna go to fucken Fenway Pahk!” and “How bout dem apples, Jimmy!?” Walk around saying this aloud in the streets of Boston while also listening to the locals’ accents. It’s important to find ways to work in the word “car” anytime you can.
Step 2: Wicken Fucken Accents
Start to channel your inner Matt Damon. Go to Fenway Park and start using words where you can round the “O’s like “Jimmy! Get me a Haut Daug!” and when you’re ready start throwing in “wicked” and “fucken” anywhere it remotely makes sense. “Jimmy! Get me a fucken Haut Daug and that wicked summa ale!” Try to make Bostonites upset by saying you are from New York, and then they’ll say things like “The Yankees fucken saahck! Bucha queeahs! Let’s go Red Saux! ”
Step 3: Wicked Fucken Cool Supa cut.
This is the most important step. After getting drunk at Fenway Park, go back to your hotel, get a wine opener from the front desk, open your 8 dollar wine in your room, order pizza (optional), and watch the supa cut video several times in a row. It’s wicked fucken cool. It will teach you EVERYTHING you need to know about how to do a Boston accent.
If you completed these three steps, you should be just as good at faking a Boston accent as Matt Damon in The Depahted or Amy Adams in The Fighta. Now you’re prepared to run around Boston interacting and fighting with the locals.
Hot on Netflix: Nymphomaniac Volume I and II
Netflix is letting us watch hot movies! And I mean HOT, sexy movies. Both of Lars Von Trier’s Nymphomaniac movies are there.
Frank: A “Will I See It?” Alert
This movie called Frank looks kinda weird. Is anyone interested in a movie where Michael Fassbender covers his beautiful face? Maybe. If I decide to watch this, maybe I’ll keep a photo of Michael Fassbender pulled up on my phone and I’ll keep glancing at it.
This is a Sundance movie about a band. Fassbender front mans the band they go to South by Southwest. This actor band performed on the Colbert Report and it was pretty wacky!
Actor of the Year Award: Ethan Hawke in ‘Boyhood’
I mean Ethan Hawk, daaaang. All the acting was good in Boyhood, but with Hawke I was like whoa. To be honest, I sometimes can only handle Ethan Hawke so much. He gets a little rambly and whiney and over-analytical (see Reality Bites, Before Sunrise). Somehow, in Boyhood, he just worked perfect. Since the movie was filmed over 12 years of his adulthood, I’m not sure whether the smooth transformation of his character could be attributed Ethan Hawke’s good acting or Ethan Hawke himself. It was probably both, and I loved it. He went from being a douchebag dad to a great dad with a moustache who tells his son important meaningful things that are based on experience. Watching their relationship evolve was fantastic. Now that Hawke’s grown up, I look forward to seeing him in some other stuff. You made it, Ethan Hawke! You won the Movie Mumbo Jumbo Actor of the Year Award!
Hot Movies On Netflix: Pulp Fiction and Some Other Stuff
Hey, here’s something cool: Some Reddit nerd cross-referenced the IMDB top 250 movies with Netflix Streaming and listed the matches. Then Uproxx picked it up. Then, I read it online. Then, I copy and pasted the link and put it on my own blog as if it I am the one who has the ideas. The result is a Movie Mumbo Jumbo list of hot movies on Netflix. Thanks, nerds. Now get outta my sight!
Mind-Blowingly Good: Boyhood
Richard Linklater’s Boyhood is so spectacular and beautiful and heart-melting. Nothing even really happens in it, not even any forced tender moments. There’s a little bit of suburban drama and a ton of normal, natural, sweet moments. There’s nothing fancy. There’s no piano music that tells you what you should feel. There’s lots of normalcy. I was absolutely captivated.
Can’t wait for the trailer.
Important Film Discussions with Important Women (And a Dude)
Some friends and I went and saw Obvious Child at Nitehawk Cinema in Brooklyn. Then we went to a high-end drinking establishment and had high class important discussions about the movie. I made an intelligent and profound video of it. If you’re too bored by this video to make it through all 5 minutes of it, then you’re not sophisticated or smart enough, which is understandable.
On the other hand, If you are totally engrossed and can’t get enough of this enriching subject matter, check out "Important Discussions about Don Jon”
Thumbs Up Of the Week: In a World
Hey people, this movie’s funny. I watched it on an airplane while I was traveling the world. Written/directed by and starring Lake Bell, In a World is a just good-ass old fashioned fun movie. It debuted at Sundance last year, and it has tons of funny comedian types in it, including Demetri Martin, Ken Marino, Rob Corddry, Fred Melamed, Michaela Watkins, Tig Notaro, Stephanie Allyne, and Nick Offerman.
The Last Stop on the Road to the Oscars: ‘The Missing Picture’
At the turn of year, I made a stupid commitment to watch all of the movies nominated for an Oscar except for the animated features. I basically fulfilled that commitment except not really. I wasn’t able to track down The Missing Picture anywhere. The Missing Picture was my missing picture on the Road to the Oscars. It finally came ‘round and became rentable on Itunes, so I watched it while on my Eurotrip.
This unique and beautiful documentary was nominated for best foreign language film. It’s about a man’s recollection of the events following the day in 1975 when Cambodian citizens were forced into labor camps. While there, they were often tortured, nearly starved, and robbed of all individual identity. The sad but fascinating story is told using amazing clay figurines in a diorama sort of way.
Road to the Oscars finally truly complete!